Oldboy

This has been a long time coming and I truly apologize for not putting this movie here sooner. This film is a gem, and no.. I'm not referring to it being shimmering with massive Hollywood inspired appeal either. If you're looking for a happy ending, stay the fuck away from this movie, better yet.. stay away from this blog. And no the previous statement has not ruined the movie for you so calm down.

I saw this movie several years ago and after the credits began to role my body was physically disgusted. I just sat staring at the screen and I honestly could not move. It reminded me of how I had felt after watching Requiem for A Dream. That is how powerful the film is.

Dae-su Oh is taken off the street, after a night of being drunk at a police station, and is put in a small room. He is kept prisoner for 15 years where his only form of entertainment is a television. When he's not watching television he's punching the wall with his fists, literally melting his knuckles. He doesn't know who has put him there and he's apparently got a long list of enemies. But he wants to make sure if he ever gets out that he can physically kill whoever has done this to him.

Finally, he is released and his captor gives him several days to find out who he is. And you start getting the feeling that Dae-su Oh is still imprisoned even though he is no longer in the small room. He becomes consumed with revenge and rightfully so. And than he meets Mi-do, a woman significantly younger than him and she begins to help in the search for his captor.

Those who love a good fight scene will be satisfied when Dae-su Oh gets to practice his strength in the outside world. Weapon of choice, hammer. You won't be disappointed.

And the rest of the film unfolds quickly. But will revenge be satisfying for Dae-su Oh? You figure that out yourself.

Martyrs

The movie starts with scenes of a young woman, Lucie, clearly the victim of extreme abuse. We don't know who the hell is doing it to her. Somehow she is able to escape her captures and she finds freedom running down a filthy road. Fifteen years later she comes knocking on the door of a seemingly normal family, totting a shotgun and she's very trigger happy. You think, damn... if these people are responsible for her past pain they sure as hell had it coming. But she decides the teenagers need to die as well, so she shoots them too.

Lucie has a friend named Anna who meets up with her after her revenge party. For some reason they think it's wise to hang out at a house after killing four people. Good decision, really.

Lucie keeps getting attacked by this anorexic-looking naked woman who conveniently shows up whenever Anna cannot come to her rescue. Maybe Lucie's past torture has truly degraded her mind in ways that not even time and friendship can heal. And than of course when you thought you knew step by step what is going to happen, everything changes.

Systematic psychological and physical torture. That pretty much sums up the rest of the movie. Something more painful than any Achilles-tendon-slicing scene can offer. And what's even better! It's all for the sake of martyrdom, as a creepy old lady explains because "people ignore the existence of suffering." Because anyones mind can be weakened to the point of insanity and this film seems bent on proving it.

Audition

Oh you're going to love this little treat. A company executive, named Aoyama, has been a widow for several years. He is lonely and he needs a companion. Even his son recommends he should move on and get married again. Forget searching for the right one, Aoyama has a better plan. He's going to have auditions for a movie that doesn't exist in order to find his next wife. You either think the man is deranged or pretty damn clever. Either way, you find sympathy for him because he is rather pathetic. It isn't surprising when he takes an immediate liking to Asami. Asami is young, frail and very pretty. But of course, what you see is never what you get. Asami has a past that she wants to share with Aoyama and the two seem well made for one another.

But shit starts to happen and you aren't quit sure what the fuck you're witnessing. A phone rings immediately setting off a bag that is holding the body of a human being. Beside the phone, Asami sits waiting for a call from Aoyama. She is hunched over, in the dark not acknowledging the moving body bag at all. What the fuck is going on?

Aoyama is unaware of Asami's secret. Why? Because he has no idea where she lives.

Finally, Aoyama and Asami spend a night together. She demands that she "be the only one he loves." And if your crazy radar hasn't gone off yet up to this point, well... it gets even worse. Asami disappears when Aoyama wakes in the morning and he goes on a frantic search to find her. I'm not going to ruin the rest of the film for you.. but let's just say the film seems to be making a statement about monogamous relationships. A heads up; this statement involves piano wire.

Irreversible

If you've seen the Blair Witch Project and gotten a headache from the movements the camera make; this film is not for you. Cue the chaos and be prepared for some ultra violence. The film unfolds as Pierre and Marcus search for The Rectum, a gay bar. Confusion sets in. Pierre keeps telling Marcus to control himself and that this is not the way to exact revenge on someone. What is he seeking revenge for? You spend a good amount of time wondering as the film seems to play out in reverse. Along with confusion you get a good amount of irritation at the characters for their constant bickering and unwillingness to calm down. Why the hell is everyone so on the edge. Who the fuck has been hurt so badly that no one takes a brief moment to stop and think about what their doing.

Than comes a scene a very painful scene. A scene that will make sure you never walk alone in a dark tunnel ever again. A scene that answers for the questions you've been asking from the beginning of the film.

Than as the day continues to play in reverse you experience the relationships that hold the three main characters together. What seems tragic before getting to know Alex is even more so after the film has run its course.

This is a film worth seeing.

The Human Centipede

If someone plans on experimenting on you would you prefer to know beforehand the details of the operation? Or, would you find it more appealing to just have them do it without a word?

The doctor in this film describes in excited fashion his plans for you from the beginning. It's always better to know what you're about to endure before it happens.

And yes, what this doctor wants to do is turn you, your friend and a complete stranger into a living, breathing, human centipede, hence the title. Just when you thought you'd heard it all.

And they don't even get to pick the part of the sequence they will be, bummer. When the doctor finally completes the procedure you think to yourself, there is an entire hour left in the movie, I guess I have seen the worst of it. Don't assume anything.

The doctor doesn't look like a very welcoming man to begin with. Although, it is a horrible thing the two girls have to endure, they could have avoided it easily had they not been such bimbos. You will find the stranger, a very angry Japanese man, to be a great addition to the film. He reacts the way a person should.

The premise behind the film alone makes it worth watching.

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

Please for the sake of not being completely stupid, if someone appears to be following you while your driving, whether it be a 86-year-old granny or 35-year-old in his prime "creeper," whatever you do DON'T drive up to your own home. Upon watching the first 15 minutes of this film I was greatly disappointed because I've read enough about serial killers and watched enough Unsolved Mysteries to fill my pleasant days with a sense of paranoia that just won't go away. If I get the slightest feeling of someone following me I high-tail my skinny ass out of the situation and you should, too. Than again, I guess I'm just one of those people who actually pays attention to what's going on in my surroundings.

The movie is based on true events. Two murderers become buddies and end up taping and viewing their murders at their own leisure. It's like the 80's Peeping Tom but way sicker and without any sympathy at all for the murderers.

The scene where they actually watch themselves murder, what I assumed was a small family, is probably the most disturbing part. Otis, the dumber of the pair, decides he doesn't just want to rewind the tape for another viewing but that he wants to re-play it frame by frame.

The slight addition of a romance between Otis' sister and Henry was the only element of the movie I found irritating, there really isn't any need for it at all. This guy claims to have killed more than 600 people in his lifetime, I'm sure he barely had any time to find true love or even know what that human emotion means.

Otis' demise in the movie didn't exactly play fair to reality, he dies years later from liver failure and not from being stabbed to death with a metal comb. Spoiler, I know... it's just too bad for you.

Ebola Syndrome

As a teenager I was always fascinated with certain diseases that had horrible symptoms, the worse they were, the more I wanted to read about it. Call me sick if you must, I find it interesting. Ebola would be one at the top of the list. More concretely frightening after reading the Hot Zone for a class assignment and being frightened to death about almost everything for a while after reading it. Even breathing the oxygen around me became a cause for paranoia. When I discovered this pleasantly titled film you could imagine I was all the more ready and willing to watch it.

This is a film about a guy who just fucking hates everyone.


Your going to think twice about eating anything from a restaurant after you've seen this movie. It's not your average case of Mad Cows Disease. It's a Asian modern day version of Sweeney Todd with a hint of Fried Green Tomatoes. Sickness for the soul. It will make you scared of any human or animal contact whatsoever.


The Dialogue is brilliant, how else could a movie about a douche bag and Ebola be remotely funny. It's a rare film thats actually quit enjoyable.

Aftermath

As I began watching this short film, I told myself an explicit autopsy would be the only real disgusting thing I'd have to deal with. In any film such a scene always makes me very fucking uncomfortable. So I knew better not to start eating anything when I pressed play.

Two thirds through the movie I clutched my forehead and gasped from complete disgust. I'm sure my face went pale, too. There are just some things, even in a film, that completely horrify me. Such things that can and probably do happen in real life.


This is a good case of a sick fucking short film shot beautifully. Just lay the damn food down while your watching it, you've been warned.

Don't Go In The House

I have a feeling the main character of this film would get along famously with Ed Gein. After all, the two have a wee bit in common, when their mommies die, they kinda flip the fuck out. All they really needed was a little push of encouragement to take their levels of wacko to new extremes.

Someone should seriously tell this guy that screaming at a dead body won't bring them back no matter how loud you wanna get. Is it me or does this guy look a little like Dustin Hoffman?

Enter in scene: first dumb chick of the film. A little persistence goes a long way with this one. Ready and willing to enter eerie old house, check. Innocently wandering around house to fulfill curiosity, check. Turning back on odd stranger, check. Death, not surprising in the least.

Forget the blades and guns, this guy knows how to go crazy in style. Weapon of choice; flamethrower, and why the hell not. Must suck for the ladies.

I'm sure the smell through out his house is quit interesting.

The movie is not gruesome or disturbing as compared to previous posts but it is one worth watching.

Begotten

If you wake up one morning with the urge to watch a movie where someone practices self disembowelment within the first three minutes, for whatever reason, here is my gift to you. Within minutes of such actions occurring a random woman impregnates herself with said fellows bodily fluids.

This woman proceeds to give birth to a fully grown man-child who comes equipt with one of the creepiest sounds emitting from a living creature I have ever heard. I might also like to add that this man-child closely resembles the creatures from the Descent, even their movements are similar.

Oh the glorious world of cinema.

I know there is an explanation of this movie that exists, I have read it. For the sake of you having your own unbiased interpretation of the film, if that's what you want, I won't explain what it's "suppose" to be about. And just don't read the paragraph underneath this one if you feel strongly about it. I feel as though this movie wants you to interpret it for yourself. You might even decide that the movie is a load of shit, too long and is just being passed along as art. That's your call.

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To me the film was post-apocalyptic in its entirety. Last man on earth, wouldn't blame him, goes insane and decides to take his own life (Not saying I agree with his choice of suicide.) What he doesn't know is that there is another human being on earth and she finds him a little too late, or not. So she decides, what the hell, what have I got to lose and she makes herself pregnant in order to repopulate the world. Ultimately, humans beings are always going to be suffering.
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There are certain scenes throughout the movie that extend to unnecessary lengths. You might, just might, feel a bit awkward watching some of them, even by yourself. Or not.

The film closely resembles to me what movie hell would look like, no dialogue whatsoever, raw sounds and lighting that can only be described as crude. If one were to have a dream in such a landscape lets hope you wouldn't have to be there long. Not even Freddy Krueger could make your nightmares so damn unforgettable.

All I know is if I end up having a dream that even closely resembles anything from this movie I'm going to be pissed.

Men Behind the Sun

Many know of the horrific experimentations the Nazi's performed during the reign of Hitler, less are aware of Japans Unit 731 which was in progress between 1937–1945. This unit performed experimentations upon humans that rival those performed by the Nazi's. For biological warfare of course and if you're curious as to the specific experimentations they inflicted upon their own people, it's called the internet.

The movie is based on actual events which is why it's so terrifying. The casualness that the soldiers and generals treat and speak of the experiments only adds to my frustration that people can actual do this to one another.

There is a scene where a young mute boy is taken to be experimented on. It is completely heartbreaking because he is innocent as to what they are about to do to him. He willingly listens and does everything he is told. They proceed to put him to sleep and take his major organs out. Pulling the heart from his chest while it is still beating.

The scientists throughout the movie are completely devoid of any human compassion. They are in some ways worse than even the Nazi's because they experiment on their own people.

And at last a huge slap of symbolism sprays across the scene when the last prisoner is stabbed with a huge pole which holds up a huge Japanese pole. It is not subtle at all. Don't look for any glorious Hollywood ending for the underdog here.

Nekromantik

Damn.

Thats exactly what I said after watching this film.

I won't lie to you, I tried to watch it once and was revolted so much I turned the movie off half-way through. The title is pretty self-explanatory.

A young guy named Rob works for a cleaning service who goes out and cleans up dead bodies after accidents. Robs got a sick little hobby, he likes to steal body parts from the scenes and keep them in jars at home. His girlfriend is cool with this and proves herself to be equally, if not more, sick in the brain than he is.


One day, while at work an almost completely decayed body is found in a swamp. So our buddy, the freak, decides he wants to steal the body and take it home. There will be corny upbeat music playing during a scene that will have your inner soul gag in revulsion.

--This was the part of the film where I stopped and walked off in complete disgust the first time-- You will wonder why but you will get no answers.

To Robs surprise, after losing his highly appealing job, he finds that his wacko girlfriend has left him for the corpse. I mean Rob is one ugly dude, but I'm sure most would prefer him to a rotting corpse.

One element missing from the movie was definitely character development, if you can even get past the actions that they perform.

Rob spends the rest of the film having weird dreams, attempting suicide and my all time favorite- bathing with a cats innards. Just when you think the movie has done all it can, the last five minutes will keep you guessing. It will be the most original self-inflicting wound you have ever seen and you might just react with laughter. That's what I did, because honestly, it's just that outrageous.

This is one German film I guarantee will cause a physical reaction from just about anyone.

Salo aka 120 Days of Sodom

I have to say, or admit, that out of curiosity I have read a large portion of Marquis de Sade's work "120 of Sodom." The work was written in 1785. Don't even try to assume that such a year kept this book prim and proper. Keep in mind this is the man who so graciously bore the English language the word "Sadist." If you don't believe me, I have entered below a mere sample of the descriptions throughout his book(specifically the fourth part.)

77. His first passion: little by little to burn the breasts and buttocks with the flame of a match; his second: over every part of the girl’s body to plant a forest of sulphur-coated slivers, which he lights one by one. He watches her die in this way.

109. He buries the muzzle of a shotgun in the boy’s ass, the weapon is loaded with buckshot and he has just finished fucking the lad. He pulls the trigger; the gun and his prick discharge simultaneously.

112. He drives a long spike through the victim’s asshole and thus nails him to a slender pole, and leaves him to sigh away his last hours, or days.

Oh de Sade was such a fun loving author wasn't he.

It was safe to say when I began to watch Salo, I was prepared for some sick vomit-inducing cinema. Oh to say I was disappointed is an understatement. Don't get me wrong, there are some twisted scenes. Plenty of rape, torture and a delicious scene of literal shit eating mania. De Sade served up so many hellish actions in his novel with so much more power than the movie even tried to attempt.

The only reason why the movie is somewhat disgusting is the actual reality that money and/or power could allow sick people their most mentally deranged fantasies. These four men, kidnap 9 girls and 9 boys, take them to a secluded castle and proceed to do whatever they want. Oh and with the HELP of police officers, yeah. It's like an early Hostel, but without an ending that will leave you satisfied. You will be left wondering the fate of the "slaves" by the time the credits role. Do they live or die? Sorry, I know I ruined the ending for you.

Day of the Woman aka I Spit on Your Grave

There's this rule that people should follow even if it is hard. Keep your damn clothes on. It's one of those pivotal actions that foreshadows the future, or lack of, for many characters in films. So when I found to my disgust Jennifer Hills, the main character, taking her clothes off to skinny dip in broad daylight in an unfamiliar territory, I couldn't help but groan with complete disgust. Thanks for making ladies look stupid as hell Ms. Hills, much appreciated! I quickly got over this fact when I realized her actual clothing didn't do much in the covering up department. The chick just doesn't like clothes and we all know scantily clad ladies never last long. I would also like to add that Jennifer looks like an anorexic version of Carrie.

The movie does a good job at making your flesh crawl with the use of a harmonica. You think the rape scene in Last House on the Left is bad, please. Just when you think the scene is over, it won't be, and you'll find yourself screaming at Jennifer to use her scrawny ass to fight back. She won't be very successful.

The last thirty or so minutes of the film seem pre-Kill Bill inspiring. When she finds herself capable of exacting revenge I was very skeptical that a 100 pound women could lift a man twice her size to his death. I'm sure you'll find it equally unbelievable. But than again, girl just got gang-raped and I'm pretty sure it wasn't all that enjoyable.. so I'll have to leave that situation open to possibility.
This death is quicker than necessary. I was hoping she would pull out some pliers, scissors or anything to equalize the punishment. As I finish the movie I wonder if she has it in her to exact an revenge worthy of Tarantino status. The second revenge delivers. No spoilers here.

I would have preferred to skip the first hour of the film. The dialogue is lacking and several attempts at solid one liners don't pull through. The Tub scene is probably the only part of the film that's satisfying and it's less than five minutes.

Cannibal Holocaust

I thought it fair to start with this film because of its infamous reputation for being one of the most censored films of all time. The film seemed so real when it was first released that director Ruggero Deodato had to prove the actors in the film were still alive. With scenes of actual animal slaughterings(six to be exact), graphic sexual violence and altogether gruesome violence galore, its censorship is not surprising. Don't take the last sentence as support for the censorship of any film.

I had taken a chance before watching the film to actually buy it first. I was either going to be a proud owner of a truly disturbing film or I was going to have to light it on fire and throw it out my window. Luckily, it wasn't all that bad. If I had to say what truly disturbed me was not the violence committed between the two different groups of people, but the actual animal killings. The slaughtering of a
coatimundi will bring along with it the sound of a dying animal you never want to hear again. It will haunt you.

As for the western people who commit the first atrocity against the tribe, they deserve what they get and when you watch the film you'll understand why.

The music through out the film caused me to burst out with extreme fits of laughter for its stark contrast to what was actually happening during specific scenes.

This is a movie you don't want to bring the family together to watch, that would be an altogether uncomfortable and short gathering. What makes the film so powerful is the strong commentary about society and culture it brings to the viewer. The violence is there for a reason. Watch the film.